About
I am deeply connected to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Not only was I raised here in Marquette, but my wife and I chose to raise our two children here as well. I have always found comfort in the beauty of Lake Superior and the 
Upper Peninsula.
Besides spending time with my family, I enjoy kayaking, making the rounds on Marquette's bike paths, hiking and cross country skiing. But, photography is my favorite. It is not uncommon for me to be out and about without my camera around my neck.
I recently came across an article that I felt captured what I wish people knew. Thank you
mindbodygreen.com for the resource.
10 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Therapy
I don’t think you’re crazy
I think you are amazingly unique trying to find your way in the world. None of us is perfect and I surely don’t expect you to be anywhere close to mastery when you're learning new skills to change your life. Effective change usually requires trial and lots of errors. It means you’re trying! Plus, if I think you’re being irrational, I’ll tell you.
1
Trust is everything
Your ability to connect with me will be the number one factor determining how well we work together. If you don’t feel like you click with me after a few sessions, it’s OK to let me know and seek out a different therapist. We all need different things and my main priority is for you to achieve your goals.
2
My job is not to psychoanalyze you.
It is to be curious and to help you gain more understanding. A good therapist doesn’t claim to have all the answers for why you are the way you are although we may have some ideas that we will willingly share with you. When it comes to getting answers and more understanding, we will form hypotheses together and you will come to your own conclusions. A therapist facilitates that process not tell you how to think/believe/act.
3
I’m not here to give you advice.
I’m here to share my knowledge with you and help you make your own decisions that are balanced, rational, and well-explored. Strengthening your own reasoning and decision-making skills will increase your independence and self-esteem. Win-win!
4
Work through your emotions with me including anger
Therapy is the perfect place to learn how to express your feelings, to give you a space to try out new ways of being, thinking, and feeling. When we learn how to work through our negative emotions it increases our relationship skills. This is a necessary component to maintaining relationships and managing emotions in a healthy way.
5
I expect you to slide backward to old behavior patterns
Most people judge themselves enough for at least two people. I encourage my clients to come clean. It’s only through acknowledging our steps backward that we can figure out what’s standing in the way so that you can catapult forward. Relapse is VERY common and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
6
You deserve to be happy
Happiness is not reserved for special people. Everyone has regrets, things we wish we never would have done, people we’ve hurt along the way, people who have hurt us either intentionally or unintentionally. I’m a firm believer that we can heal our wounds and step into happiness. You deserve it just as much as the next person.
7
I can’t fix your life or your problems
Only you can. I can help you gain more clarity, more understanding, and form a plan of action, but therapy is not a magic pill that erases all issues. It takes work, but if you’re up for the challenge, I’ll be there every step of the way!
8
The quickest way from one point to the next is action
If you continue to come to therapy without putting any new behaviors or thoughts into action, progress will be a slow process for you. The path to action is different for everyone. You’re the only one who can decide to take action and what action that will be. You hold all the power.
9
I want you to have the life you want
I know your struggles, your dreams, your insecurities. There is nothing I want more for you than for you to bring your dreams into reality, push through your fears, and have the life you want. Your success is the ultimate gift to a therapist!
10
Mike Shelafoe, LMSW
